Simon

Simon's Story

Meet Simon, a Neighborhood Cats Network community cat of refined tastes, quiet dignity… and one very specific piece of furniture: a tire.

Some cats have heated beds. Some have couches. Simon has a tire.

Out in the great outdoors, where community cats choose their furniture wisely, Simon has formed a deep and unwavering bond with a slightly worn, questionably balanced tire. It offers no warmth, no softness, and absolutely no logical reason for this level of devotion—yet Simon treats it like a luxury lounge reserved for distinguished guests. And by distinguished guests, we mean Simon.

He doesn’t simply sit in the tire. He reclines. He poses. From the lofty rim of his rubber throne, Simon surveys the colony with the calm authority of a cat who knows he has chosen correctly. Birds are observed. Squirrels are judged. Humans are tolerated… from a respectful distance.

Once discarded and forgotten, the tire has found its true purpose under Simon’s watchful eye, transformed into a symbol of comfort, power, and mild intimidation. It serves as his lookout, lounge, and personal observation deck, where he supervises the feeders and monitors suspicious leaves that move when no one is looking. Attempts to relocate the tire have been, well, … poorly received. Simon responds with immediate concern, followed by disbelief, followed by deep personal offense. There may be yelling. There will definitely be tail flicking.

Why the tire? We may never know. Perhaps it offers the perfect height for dignified observation. Perhaps it smells faintly of adventure. Or perhaps Simon simply woke up one day, stepped inside it, and declared, “Yes. This. This is mine.” And honestly? That’s enough.

So please respect the arrangement. Do not question the tire. Do not relocate the tire. Simply admire Simon in the tire—from an appropriate distance, of course. In the world of community cats, luxury is relative… and Simon, quite clearly, has already won.